Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Stories
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: Complete! Naruto takes Jiraiya to court? Gaara is a pharaoh? Orochimaru runs a daycare? Sasuke is a mob boss? Tsunade has a gambling problem? Kikashi and Might Guy are Newscasters? These crazy stories are what you'll find this humorous Naruto Universe!
1. Introduction

**Story:** Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Stories  
**Authors:** Master Jin Sonata and Time Master  
**Written:** August 16th, 2007  
**Genre:** Humor/Adventure  
**Rating:** T (Mild Language, Violence)  
**Disclaimer:** We do not own Naruto, but we do own the chain of events that will follow!

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(The camera pans to a newsroom in an undisclosed location within The Village Hidden In The Leaves. Behind the news desk were two anchors: Kakashi Hatake, and Might Guy, wearing grey business suits instead of their normal outfits.)

**Announcer**: And now for the most reliable news anywhere, this is The Hidden Leaf Village News At Five!

**Kakashi**: Hello, I'm Chief Anchor Kakashi Hatake, and this is my Co-Anchor, Meat Guy…

**Might Guy**: H-hey!!! That's not my name, Kakashi!

**Kakashi**: Oh, pardon me, it seems that there was a typo on this page…it actually says Mighty Gay Guy…

**Might Guy**: …Uh…anyways, we are here to give you a preview of what this fic is all about!

**Kakashi**: Indeed. For the next several chapters, we will show you many crazy stories involving your favorite ninjas doing some pretty strange things.

**Might Guy**: Below is the list of future tales that will follow this initial report. Ahem…

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**Story 1: Naruto Takes Jiraiya To Court**

**Featuring**: Naruto, Jiraiya, Ebisu, Gamabunta (Boss Toad) and The Third Hokage

**Story 2: Orochimaru's Daycare Service**

**Featuring**: Orochimaru, Kabuto, Zabuza, Haku, Itachi, and Kisame

**Story 3: Sasuke's Gang: The Greatest Heist**

**Featuring**: Sasuke, Kiba, Shikamaru, Choji, and Neji

**Story 4: Gaara vs Indiana Jones**

**Featuring**: Gaara, Kankuro, Shino, and Indiana Jones

**Story 5: Sakura and Ino's Supergirl Squad**

**Featuring**: Sakura, Ino, Tenten, Temari

**Story 6: Tsunade's Gambling Problem**

**Featuring**: Tsunade, Shizune

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**Might Guy**: In between each tale, we will return to you with updates and new info on how the characters are faring after their circumstances.

**Kakashi**: And there you have it. Now, let the Ultimate Ninja Stories begin!

**Might Guy**: Yes! Let the stories burn on with the passion of youth!

(Might Guy gives his trademark winking smile and thumbs-up to the camera, which causes it to break, making the screen go black but with the sound still in tact)

**Kakashi**: Oh great, your gleaming smile caused our news camera to break again. This is coming out of your pay.

**Might Guy**: Aw damn…now I'll never be able to afford that new purple Taijutsu outfit I saw at Macy's.

**Kakashi**: (Sighs) Just get on with the story already…

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**End of Introduction **

**Next: Naruto Takes Jiraiya To Court, Part 1**

**Please review!**


	2. Naruto Takes Jiraiya To Court Part 1

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_**Naruto Takes Jiraiya To Court Part 1**_

_**This Court Will Now Come To Order!**_

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The courtroom of the Hidden Leaf Village was filled to capacity as the people waited for the court hearing to start. On one side of the room were all of Jiraiya's friends and toad summons, and on the opposite side were Naruto's pals.

Suddenly, the main door slams open as Jiraiya walks in with his lawyer, Ebisu. Whispers could be heard throughout the room as the two made their way to the front of the court. The Toad Sage looked pretty uneasy as he walks past the audience.

Moments later, Naruto enters the courtroom next, looking pretty pissed off. With him was no one, for he was representing himself. He took up his spot in the front as well, shooting a glare at Jiraiya.

A security guard Ninja approached the audience moments later.

"**Everyone please stand for our honorable Judge: The Third Hokage,"** the security Ninja said.

The whole courtroom stood as The Third Hokage appears and takes his place in the judge's seat.

"**You may be seated. This court is now in session!"** The Third Hokage said, clearing his throat. **"Case #3735: Naruto Uzumaki vs. Jiraiya. We will now hear opening arguments from Naruto's attorney…hey wait a minute…where's your lawyer, kid?"** The Third Hokage said, raising an eyebrow.

**"Couldn't afford one, old man…I mean, Mr. Judge sir,"** Naruto said with an embarrassed smile. 

"**I see...well, I hope you can handle your own defense. Carry on,"** The Third Hokage said, sighing.

"**Right!"** Naruto said, turning to Jiraiya ad pointing at him. **"That pervy jerk right here has been exploiting my Sexy Jutsu technique for his own dirty pleasures!!! He should be locked up in a dark dingy prison cell forever!!!"** Naruto accused in an angry tone.

Naruto's side of the courtroom gasped after hearing this, while Jiraiya's supporters murmured among themselves.

"**Hmm…a pretty deep claim. Now we'll hear from Jiraiya's lawyer. Mr. Ebisu?"** The Third Hokage said.

Ebisu stood and faced the judge, adjusting his small dark sunglasses. **"Yes, your honor. My client here did not do such a grotesque and sick act. My client said Naruto is trying to win money damages just he can buy more ramen,"** Ebisu explains.

"**That's a load of crap!"** Naruto shouts back at Ebisu.

The Third Hokage banged his gavel. **"Order, order in my court! Naruto, wait your turn! Now, Ebisu, is there anything else you wish to say?"**

"**That's all for now,"** Ebisu said to the judge, before giving Naruto an icy glare as he sat back down.

"**Very well. We will hear from some key witnesses after a brief five minute recess, not a second longer,"** The Third Hokage said, banging his gavel once more.

Stay tuned for part two of this sizzling case!

**Please review!**


	3. Naruto Takes Jiraiya To Court Part 2

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_**Naruto Takes Jiraiya To Court Part 2**_

_**The Witnesses Begin To Testify!!!**_

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The recess was over, and was time for the case to get started.

**"Order! Now then, we will now hear witness testimonies in defense of Jiraiya first. Mr. Ebisu?"** The Third Hokage said, clearing his throat.

**"Thank you your honor,"** Ebisu said, standing up and walking toward the front of the courtroom. He gave Naruto a cheeky grin, while Naruto responded by sticking his tongue at him. **"I would like to call my first witness in defense of Jiraiya to the stand: Gamabunta!!!"**

The giant frog hopped up to the front of the courtroom and squeezed into the little booth next to the judge.

**"Now tell me, Mr. Gamabunta, how long have you known Jiraiya?"** Ebisu asked.

**"Hmm…about twenty years,"** the giant toad responded, smoking his pipe.

**"And during these years you have known him, has he displayed any form liking toward young boys turning into hot women for his own pleasures?"** Ebisu asked.

**"Nope. He seems pretty clean to me. I couldn't see him doing something like that,"** Gamabuntaresponded.

**"Objection!!!"** Naruto yells out, jumping out of his seat. **"The toad only comes out during decisive battles! It doesn't know what the pervy-sage does during his free time!!!"**

The Third Hokage banged his gavel.

**"Overruled! Please continue, Mr. Ebisu,"** The Third Hokage said.

**"You see, members of the jury, Mr. Jiraiya is a man who does no wrong. Even his most trusted summon says that he wouldn't do such a thing. That's all I have to say,"** Ebisu said, walking back to his seat.

**"Alright then. Naruto, you're up next,"** The Third Hokage said.

**"Right!"** Naruto said, jumping out of his seat. **"I call Sakura to the stand!"**

Sakura stands up from the audience and heads to the booth next to the judge.

**"So, Sakura, I just have one question for you: Would I lie about something like this? I mean, you may think I'm goofy in all, but I would never stoop so low as to lie about what's been happening to me, right!?"** Naruto asked.

**"Well…"** Sakura began to say, when Ebisu stood and interupted.

**"Objection! He's leading the witness!"** Ebisu said, pointing at Naruto.

**"What?! Shut-up, I am not you closet pervert!!!"** Naruto shot back.

The Third Hokage banged his gavel again.

**"Sustained! Naruto, please take your seat,"** The Third Hokage said.

**"Dammit!!! This is all fixed!!!"** Naruto yelled out.

**"Order!!!"** The Third Hokage shouted, banging his gavel yet again. **"One more outburst like that, young man, and I'll have you removed from the courtroom!"**

**"Grrrrr…"** Naruto growled, heading back to his seat.

**"Ahem. We will now have another recess. During that time the jury will decide on the verdict. Return here in an hour. Dismissed!"** The Third Hokage said.

Stay tuned for the conclusion of this court story. Who will win the case?

**Please review!**


	4. Naruto Takes Jiraiya To Court Part 3

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_**Naruto Takes Jiraiya To Court Part 3**_

_**The Verdict!**_

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The second recess was over, and was time to find out if Jiraiya will walk home free, or get his ass thrown in jail.

"**Order! Now then, has the jury come to a conclusion?"** The Third Hokage asked.

One of the members of the jury stood and cleared his throat.

"**Ahem, yes we have, your honor. By a unanimous decision by the jury, we find Mr. Jiraiya guilty on all accounts of misconduct against Naruto,"** the man from the jury said.

"**WHAT?!?! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! WE HAD A STRONG CASE, BETTER THAN THAT BRAT NARUTO!!!"** Ebisu yelled out in frustration

"**HA! TAKE THAT, PERVY JERKS!"** Naruto said with glee, pointing a finger at the two.

The Third Hokage decided to explain the reasoning of the jury's decision.

"**You see, most of the people here in the village all knew of Jiraiya's tendencies to do such lecherous acts, so it was a no brainer that you'd be indeed guilty of such accounts. No matter good your defense was, we all still believed you would go as far as to treat Naruto in such a fashion,"** The Third Hokage said.

Jiraiya and Ebisu stood dumfounded as if the whole thing was a setup.

"**Now,"** The Third Hokage said, pointing his gavel at Jiraiya, **"I now sentence you to 10 years in a prison occupied by a bunch of fat, sweaty men."**

Jiraiya's jaw almost hit the floor when he heard his punishment.

"**Well…um…uh…gotta go!"** Jiraiya said, quickly turning around and running out the courtroom.

"**GET HIM!!!"** The Third Hokage ordered, as dozens of security ninja quickly pursued the pervy sage.

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**Announcer**: And now a news update from The Hidden Leaf Village News At Five!

**Kakashi**: Hello. Kakashi Hatake here.

**Might Guy**: And his handsome co-anchor: Might Guy! (Gives his trademark smile to the camera)

**Kakashi**: Stop that, you're going to blind someone with that smile of yours.

**Might Guy**: Oh come now, Kakashi! You're just jealous that you had to artificially whiten your own te---

(Kakashi punches Might Guy in the jaw, knocking him out before he finished his sentence)

**Kakashi**: Ahem, and now for a news update from the court hearings of Naruto vs Jiraiya. Jiraiya was plead guilty, and upon hearing his sentence, witnesses said he attempted to flee the courtroom, but was stopped by three-dozen ninjas waiting outside for him. It was an embarrassing sight as the Toad Sage was hauled away from the premises kicking and screaming like a baby. Naruto, who won the case, was granted a lifetime supply of ramen noodles form the local ramen shop.

(Might Guy slowly gets up off of the floor)

**Might Guy**: That does it for this story. Now for the next event: Orochimaru's Daycare Service, coming soon after these messages…

(Might Guy smiles again, now showing a few missing teeth from Kakashi's punch from earlier, before flopping back on the ground unconscious.)

**Kakashi**: We'll be back after a short break.

**Please review!**


	5. Orochimaru’s Daycare Service Part 1

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**Orochimaru's Daycare Service Part 1**

**A Grand Scheme Turned Upside Down!**

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It was around midnight.

In the outskirts the Hidden Leaf Village was an abandoned warehouse. Within the dark, shady complex was an operation that would soon spell trouble for the nearby village. In the center room stood five sleazy ninjas finalizing their evil plot.

"**The time has finally come, men. The take-over of the Village Hidden In The Leaves will soon be a glorious time for us,"** said Orochimaru with a sleazy smile.

"**Indeed. Kikashi and Might Guy won't be able to stop our ingenious plot,"** Kabuto added.

"**Leave Kikashi to me…I have a score to settle with him…"** Zabuza said.

"**Heheheh…it'll be fun tearing the citizens into shreds…"** Kisame said, sharpening his sword.

"…**I will destroy everyone…like I did my clan…"** Itachi added.

"**We begin tomorrow night…with this dream-team of deadly ninja combatants, the village will be permanently wiped off the map forever!"** Orochimaru said evilly.

After a brief moment of silence, Kabuto asks everyone a question.

"**Hey…where's Haku?"** Kabuto inquires.

"**I sent him to patrol the area to make sure we aren't being spied on,"** Zabuza responded.

As if on cue, Haku appears from the shadows and approaches the group.

"**Everyone, I must report to you something that I overheard from the Ninja Counsel!"** Haku said.

"**Well, what is it, girly-boy?"** Kisame said with a grin.

Haku glared at Kisame before continuing.

"**A member of the Ninja Counsel will be surveying the area tomorrow morning. If they come by this warehouse and see our stock of weapons and armaments, our grand scheme will be ruined!"** Haku explained.

"**Damn…we'll need to find a way to detour the Counsel from inspecting this building…"** Orochimaru speculates.

"**Why don't we disguise it into something else? You know, transform it into some sort of harmless business?"** Kisame suggested.

"**That doesn't sound like a bad idea…"** Itachi commented.

"**Very well then…I will leave the redecoration of this building up to all of you guys. I'm going out to get some last minute supplies. I will see you all in the morning,"** Orochimaru said before exiting the building.

**The Next Morning...**

It was around 7:00 a.m. the next morning.

Orochimaru, disguised in a baseball cap and a trench coat so that he would not be spotted by the locals, returns to the warehouse, only to stop and stare, jaw-dropped, at what their hide-out had become.

The front of the warehouse read: **'Little Leaf Daycare'**.

"**MEN!!! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!"** Orochimaru yells at the top of his lungs.

Within seconds, the rest of the gang pile out of the building all at once in response to their leader's shouting.

"**Welcome back, Lord Orochimaru. How do you like our idea?"** Kabuto asks, yawning.

"**OFF ALL THE FREAKIN' THINGS YOU GUYS COULD HAVE TURNED THIS WAREHOUSE INTO, YOU END UP MAKING IT INTO A (BLEEPING) DAYCARE?!?!"** Orochimaru continues to yell in anger.

"**Relax, boss. It's not like we are going to be taking care of actual kids. Remember, this is just to fool the Counsel when they come later today,"** Itachi reminds Orochimaru.

The rest of the gang leads Orochimaru inside the building, where he saw that it was made to look like a real daycare, with a working kitchen, a play-area, kid-friendly toys, and even a story-telling area.

"…**You sure went quite a ways into making it as convincing as possible…"** Orochimaru comments, starting to calm down a bit.

Suddenly, everybody heard some commotion from outside.

"**Sound's like a large crowd has gathered outside the building,"** Kabuto commented.

"**Who the hell could be out there?"** Zabuza said.

All six men exit the warehouse and froze as they were surrounded by hundreds upon hundreds of parents accompanied by their small children.

"**HOW THE HELL DID ALL OF THE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THIS PLACE SO SOON?!?! NOW WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TAKE CARE OF THESE BRATS!!!"** Orochimaru yells once again.

"**Um…Mr. Orochimaru…could you maybe refrain from cursing out loud in front of the children?"** Haku suggests.

Orochimaru slowly turns around to Haku.

"**I bet this was your idea to make this into a daycare, wasn't it?"** Orochimaru growls at Haku.

"**Well…maybe…sorta…yeah…"** Haku said, laughing nervously.

"…**When this is over, you're (Bleeping) dead you little brat!"** Orochimaru mutters under his breath.

What will happen to the evil group of ninjas as they try to care for little children? Stay tuned!

**Please review!**


	6. Orochimaru’s Daycare Service Part 2

**Author's Note: **Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing thus far, it really means a lot to us! Following this particular story, we will strive to make future chapters a bit longer for your reading pleasure! On with the fic!**

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**Orochimaru's Daycare Service Part 2**

**Catastrophic Care-Taking!**

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Around noon that same day, Orochimaru and his band of ninjas had their hands full keeping the large amount of children in control. Until the evening, they were stuck tending to the needs of the young kids from the Hidden Lead Village. Several tasks were divided up amongst the group throughout that day. Let's see what they are up to, shall we?**Orochimaru's POV**

**"Grrr…this is pissing me off!!!"** Orochimaru grumbles as he sat idle in the middle of the play area while the other kids were busy having fun around him. **"I would have gotten away with taking over the village if it weren't for Haku and these meddling brats!!!"**

Suddenly, a leather Kemari ball hits Orochimaru's head from behind.

**BOP!!!**

Orochimaru spun around to see who threw the ball at him.

**"Alright…who did it?"** Orochimaru hissed at the children.

**"Wasn't us!"** all of the children said simultaneously, all of them looking innocent.

**"Bull crap!"** Orochimaru mumbles as he turns back around.** "I should just use a forbidden jutsu and kill these kids right now…"**

**BOP!!!**

Again, the same ball gets bumped across Orochimaru's head from behind.

Orochimaru once again spins around and glares at the children before him.

**"One of you little twerps better confess before I get angry…and you won't like me when I'm angry!"** Orochimaru hissed, sticking his snake-like tongue at them.

**"Cool tongue mister!!! Can you show us how to do that?"** one of the kids eagerly asked.

Seeing that children were unphased by Orochimaru's threat, he slowly turns back around once again.

**"I swear, Haku is getting a beating after this is over…"** Orochimaru says to himself once more…

**CRASH!!!!**

…until a large wooden toy box flies out of nowhere and collides into Orochimaru, knocking him clear across the room and crashing up against a wall. He quickly recovers and jumps to his feet, his pale face now looking beet-red. Orochimaru then begins to draw out his sword.

**"I'll eliminate all of you…"** he growled angrily as he began advancing toward the unsuspecting children, when the same leather Kemari ball from out of nowhere rolls toward him, causing his to slip and fall face-first into a semi-large wooden doll-house set, collapsing it on impact.

Orochimaru, really frustrated at this point, simply laid there and clenched his fist, silently letting his anger vent.

**Kisame And Itachi's**** POV**

Meanwhile in another section of the facility, Kisame and Itachi were sitting quietly as their group of children was fast asleep taking a nap.

**"I must admit…taking caring of these little punks is easy. I wonder if Orochimaru is having it easy like we are?"** Kisame commented to Itachi.

**"Kisame…you're enjoying this, aren't you?"** Itachi asked.

**"I guess you could say that…"** Kisame responded.

**"Well don't get too cozy, remember that we still have our take-over mission to carry out after this is over,"** Itachi remind him.

**"I know I know…"** Kisame said, sighing.

Their conversation was interrupted when one of the boys woke up from his nap and walked over to him.

**"Hey mister shark-guy…I can't sleep…"** said the little boy, tiredly rubbing his eye.

**"Is that so?"** Kisame said, grinning.

The boy then notices Kisame's shark-skinned sword strapped to his back.

**"Hey mister shark guy! What's that behind your back?"** the boy asked curiously.

**"Oh this?"** Kisame said, pulling out his sword so the kid could see. **"It's my special sword. Wanna touch it? It's very soft!"** Kisame lied as he offered the boy to touch his very sharp blade.

**SMACK!**

Itachi quikly puts a stop tp that by smacking Kisame across the head.

**"Hey! What was that for?"** Kisame asked.

**"If you think I'm going to clean up this boy's bloodied hand after he touches your sword, you can forget it,"** Itachi says.

**"What's the matter? Afraid of a little blood,"** Kisame taunted.

**"…………………………………………Yes,"** Itachi hesistently responded.

Kisami looked at Itachi with a 'WTF' expression on his face before breaking out into a laugh.

The boy simply stood there scratching his head looking on as the two weirdos talked.

**Kabuto, Zabuza And Haku's**** POV**

Meanwhile in the kitchen area of the facility, both Zabuza and Haku were busy looking for something to fix for the children's lunch. A beat-up and deshelved-looking Kabuto walks by the open kitchen window and peeks his head inside.

**"Have you two found anything to make yet? These kids are getting hungry,"** Kabuto asks, rubbing a bruise he got on his cheek.

**"We're trying, Kabuto. It's not like we did any real shopping lately…Hey…what the hell happened to you?"** Zabuza asks.

**"These kids have been jumping all over me demanding a piggy-back ride all morning,"** Kabuto responded, adjusting his now slightly bent glasses.

**"I take it you refused to do so, didn't you?"** Haku asks.

**"Gee, what do you think, Einstein?"** Kabuto shot back. **"Now hurry up with the food already."**

Before Kabuto could leave the window, a little girl from behind him jumps up and snags his glasses and runs off with them.

**"HEY HEY HEY!!! GET BACK HERE!!! I CAN'T SEE WITHOUT MY GLASSES!"** Kabuto yelled as he aimlessly tried to pursue the girl, only to collide into a nearby wall.

Both Zabuza and Haku look at each other before resuming their cooking task.

**"Hey, I found some boxed macaroni and cheese in the cupboard,"** Haku says.

**"That'll have to do,"** Zabuza responds.

Haku brings it over to the stove and waits for Zabuza to do something else.

**"Well, aren't you going to fix it?"** Haku asks intently.

**"Me? I don't know how to fix no damn macaroni and cheese!"** Zabua responds.

**"What?! Okay then…first you need a pot and some water,"** Haku begins to explain.

Zabuza pulls out a pot from nowhere and flops it into the sink before turning the faucet handle on.

No water came out.

**"Shit…we got no water!"** Zabuza says.

**"What?! Um…okay then…why not use your Water Jutsu?"** Haku suggested.

**"Oh fine…"** Zabuza said, before doing some hand-signs. **"Water Style: Water-In-The-Pot Jutsu!!!"**

Out of nowhere, a giant tidal wave appears behind both of them.

**"ZABUZA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! THAT'S TOO MUCH WATER!!!"** Haku yells.

**"Oops…must have messed up one of the hand-signals during the summoning…"** Zabuza says as both of them began running out of the kitchen through the back door.

At the same time, Kabuto shows up back at the window.

**"Hey! You guys done y—WAAAAAAAHHH!!!!"** Kabuto yells as the tidal wave splashed right on top of him and carries him across the facility, causing him to crash into the same wall again.

**"Ow…"** Kabuto says as he slid off of the wall and slumps onto the floor in a daze.

Can this day get any worse for Orochimaru and his crew? Stay tuned!!!

**Please review!**


	7. Orochimaru’s Daycare Service Part 3

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**Orochimaru's Daycare Service Part 3**

**Lesser Details Lead To Ruin!**

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It was late in the afternoon, and everyone was exhausted. The rowdy children they were looking after had worn them out completely. The children, to the ninja's relief, were beginning to wind down as well.

The six ninjas held a short meeting in the corner of the facility while the children were at play.

"**The children's parents will be picking them up soon, but thanks to these little brats, I'm too exhausted to carry out tonight's village take-over mission,"** Orochimaru said.

"**We should rest then, and try to do it tomorrow instead,"** Itachi recommended.

"**I second that,"** said an exasperated Kabuto.

"**Well, I'm glad that this will be over soon enough…"** Haku said, smiling nervously.

"**Yes…and I'm going to enjoy beating you up tonight to relieve some stress,"** Orochimaru promised, pointing an accusing finger at Haku.

All of the men suddenly turn around when they heard someone come through the front door.

"**Who could that be?"** Kisame asked.

"**Could be the parents of the children. Let's check it out,"** Zabuza said.

All of them head toward the front of the facility, only to meet face-to-face with a member from the Ninja Counsel.

"**Oh crap…I forgot that guy was coming to inspect this area…"** Haku said.

"**Yes…and this guy was supposed to be here this morning if I recall…"** Itachi said.

"**Not to worry men. We've got nothing to hide. This inspection will be over before you know it,"** Orochimaru said before approaching the Counsel member.

"**Greetings. I am from the Ninja Counsel. I am here to inspect this fine facility you have,"** the man said, with important documents and a clipboard on hand.

"**Well well…Come on in, take a look around,"** Orochimaru said, inviting the guy inside.

"_**Wow…I'm surprised this guy doesn't know who we are…"**_ Kisame whispered to Orochimaru.

"_**Hmm…it is a bit unusual…"**_ Orochimaru whispers back.

The Counsel member took a good look around the facility, from inspecting the kitchen, toys, and the works. After what seemed like forever, the Counsel member returns to the six ninjas.

"**All right then, men…everything seems to be in place…except for one thing…"** the Counsel member said.

All six ninjas look at each other.

"**Uh…what would that be?"** Orochimaru asked.

"**I need to see your Caretaker's Permit for this facility,"** the Counsel member said.

All of the ninjas froze as he said those words.

"…**Um…just one second…"** Orochimaru said, before huddling with the other ninjas.

"**Great…just great…we don't have a damn permit!!!"** Orochimaru said.

"**What?! How can that be? After all of the work we put into setting up this place…"** Zabuza said.

"**Damn…how could I forget about the permit…"** Haku said, placing his palm on his face.

"**Shit…now what do we do?"** Kisame asks.

"**Just follow my lead!"** Orochimaru says.

Everyone turns back toward the Counsel member.

"**Uh…funny thing is…we kinda left the permit back at my house, you see…"** Orochimaru lied.

"…**You don't have a permit, don't you?"** the Counsel member said, tapping his foot as he didn't buy Orochimaru's story.

"**Uh…um…well…you see…Hey look! Your car is on fire!!!"** Orochimaru says, pointing past the Counsel member.

"**WHAT?!?!"** the Counsel member yells, spinning around to see.

At that moment, all six ninjas make a hasty escape in the other direction.

"**Hey wait a minute! I don't have a car!!! And on top of that, what the hell is a car anyways?!?!"** the fooled Counsel member says, turning to see that Orochimaru and his gang had slipped way.

**Meanwhile Outside Behind The Facility**

"**THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!! NOW EVERY (BLEEPING) NINJA OFFICIAL IN THE VILLAGE WILL BE AFTER US FOR RUNNING AN ILLIGAL DAYCARE!!! THE PLAN IS RUINED!!!"** Orochimaru shouted at Haku.

"**So the plan is a flop. Now what?"** Kabuto asks.

"**What else? All we could do is run away,"** Haku says nervously.

"**I have a better idea…let's have a three-legged race…WITH MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS!!!"** Orochimaru shouts to Haku again.

"**I FOUND THEM! ARREST THEM!!!"** yelled a voice from around the building.

"**RUN, NOW!"** Itachi says, as all six men start fleeing from the other ninjas who were now pursuing them.

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**Announcer**: And now for another news update from The Hidden Leaf Village News At Five!

**Kakashi**: Hello. Kakashi Hatake here.

**Might Guy**: And his sexy girl-magnet co-anchor: Might Guy! (Gives another trademark smile to the camera)

**Kakashi**: Girl magnet? You couldn't get a date even if you bought them dried from a tin.

**Might Guy**: That's not true! At least my first love, unlike you, wasn't some underage…

(Before he finished his sentence, Kakashi smacks Might Guy in the face, knocking him out of his chair as he flew and crashes into the back wall of the news set)

**Kakashi**: Ahem, anyways…on with the news update. Earlier today the Ninja Counsel arrested six well-known rogue ninjas after they were caught running a Daycare Facility without a proper permit. All six men have been charged and sentenced to twenty years in prison without parole. Haku, the youngest member of the convicted six, pleaded with Judge Third Hokage that he not be booked into the same cell with Orochimaru throughout his sentence on claims that Orochimaru is abusive to him. That plea has been denied.

(Might Guy dizzily walks back toward his co-anchor's seat)

**Might Guy**: This particular tale is complete. Now for the next story: Sasuke's Gang, coming soon after these messages. In the meantime, I'm going to get me some aspirin…

(Kakashi smiles at the camera)

**Kakashi**: We'll be back after a short break.

**Please review!**


	8. Sasuke's Gang: The Greatest Heist Part 1

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**Sasuke's Gang: The Greatest Heist Part 1**

**When Robberies Go Awry!**

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On the bad side of town, high upon The Hidden Leaf Village's multi-leveled projects was home to a band of notorious gang members. These young men would soon plan the greatest heist the world has ever known…

"**I'm hungry!!! Shikamaru, got any food on you?" **Choji whined to him.

"**What a drag…it's amazing you're still hungry after cleaning out our refrigerator, the local ice-cream truck, and the mailman's sack lunch this morning," **Shikamaru said with a sigh.

…Well…it goes without saying…this is the tale of Sasuke's Gang.

Choji, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Neji sat around a table in their old dilapidated apartment. Not necessarily a glamorous place to live, this was their hideout, provided by their gang leader, Sasuke. Every member wore a lavish 1930's style gangsters' suit, ranging from brown, gray, purple and white. Even Kiba's dog Akamaru had a little outfit on. Each of them carried a gun of some sort in their pocket. At the moment they were all playing poker waiting for their boss to summon them.

"**Hey, think our boss will have us do something noteworthy today?"** Kiba asked, showing his cards to the others.

"**It better not be another embarrassing mission like last time. You know, when Choji almost got us all into deep shit when we tried to rob the local bank last week?"** Neji reminded everyone.

**Flashback: Last Week**

The scene opens in the nighttime as a clunky Model T car swerves wildly down the street, before crashing into a lamppost, totaling the front part of the vehicle. Everyone piled out seconds later in a daze.

"**That's the last time we let your dog Akamaru drive the car, Kiba,"** Sasuke said, glaring at him.

"**Hey! He's the only one who's got a valid license!"** Kiba responded.

The gang members were standing outside in front of the Local Bank.

"**Okay, here's the plan. Inside the bank's vault is an abundance of goods with our names on it. Use your skills to get inside and retrieve the riches…without getting caught, or else,"** Sasuke warned. **"I will be standing guard watching for passing ninja police."**

Everyone nodded and approached the building's front entrance.

"**Okay, how do we get inside?"** Neji asked.

"**Let's have Akamaru slip in through the side vent,"** Kiba suggested.

Kiba set Akamaru down and instructed him to go inside the vent and unlock the door from the inside. After the dog disappeared through the vent, they waited.

"**Think your dog is going to do what you told him to?"** Shikamaru questioned.

"**Of course! I know my little pal can get the job done!"** Kiba responded.

Moments later, Akamaru returns from the outside vent and walks toward the gang.

"**What the hell?!"** Kiba said in shock as he saw his dog wearing a ton of diamond necklaces, rubies, and other jewelry around his body.

"**Well…at least we know there's more than just gold held up inside there…"** Choji commented with a wide grin.

"**Yeah, but we still can't get in because the little bastard didn't open the door for us!!!"** Neji growled.

Seconds later, Shikamaru steps up to the door and turned the handle.

The door opened.

"**Wow…the door was unlocked this whole time…"** Shikamaru said, a bit surprised.

"**Good, now let's get us some gold!"** Choji said as he went inside first.

Inside the bank, it was nearly pitch dark.

"**Hey, Neji, turn on the flashlight, will ya?"** Kiba said.

"**Flashlight? I don't have the flashlight. I thought Shikamaru had it,"** Neji responded.

"**I don't got it,"** Shikamaru responded, shrugging.

"**Damn…we'll just have to feel around for the vault,"** Kiba said.

After several minutes of wandering and stumbling around the dark bank, they eventually found the giant metal vault.

"**Okay, we found it, now to get it open," **Choji said.

"**I feel a combination lock on the door. Neji, use your Byakugan Vision to see inside the vault. I heard that they keep their lock combination numbers posted on the inside wall,"** Kiba said.

"**My Byakugan ability is for seeing Chakra points on a persons' body, not looking through solid objects…dumbass,"** Neji grumbled.

"**Okay then, stand back everyone, I'm going to buff myself up into a large round ball and slam into the vault to open it!"** Choji said.

"**Uh…I don't think that's gonna work…"** Kiba said.

Choji, not hearing Kiba, stepped back a few feet before charging toward the vault, using his jutsu to make himself into a human cannonball…

**CRASH!!!**

…Which caused him to ricochet off of the vault and slam into a nearby glass teller window.

"**Such a freakin' idiot…"** Shikamaru said, sighing in embarrassment.

To everyone's surprise, Choji's attack seemed to work, as the vault began to open on its own.

"…**Does anyone else find it odd that these doors are opening so easily?"** Kiba asked.

"**Who cares? Let's go in, grab as much gold as we can, and get the hell out of here before our boss kills us,"** Neji said.

Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba, and Akamaru all entered inside the vault.

Suddenly…

**SLAM!!!**

The vault door shuts itself close, locking them inside.

Meanwhile, Choji regains his composure and walks toward the vault.

"**Hey! Where did everyone go?"** Choji asked, looking around.

"_**CHOJI!!! WE'RE LOCKED INSIDE THE VAULT!!! GET US OUT!!!"**_ yelled Kiba from the inside.

"**What?! Okay guys! I'll be back with some help!"** Choji promised them as he turned and ran out the bank.

Outside the bank, he spotted Sasuke still hanging by the busted car, waiting for them to return.

"**I can't tell my boss about this, he'll have our hides for sure! Gotta find someone else to help!"** Choji said, turning to go the other way.

Eventually, he ran into anther man walking down the street.

"**Hey, mister! I need your help! Me and my pals were trying to rob that local bank, when they became trapped inside the vault!!!"** Choji started to explain.

"**Oh really?"** the man said as he removed his jacket to reveal that he was a Police Ninja.

"**Shit!!!"** Choji yelped as he turned and ran the other way.

"**Get back here!!!"** the man yelled, pursuing him from behind.

**End Of Flashback**

"**That whole incident was a drag…and to make things worse on your part, Choji, our rescue was delayed for three hours after you stupidly lured the cop toward the boss, and the fact that our car was busted didn't help the situation either!" **Shikamaru muttered loudly.

"**Well…all of it wasn't my fault!!!"** Choji shot back. **"You guys screwed up as well!"**

"**Yeah right, just like Shikamaru said, as if telling a random person, let alone a cop about our robbery was a rational choice…idiot,"** Neji sighed.

"**Hmph…coming from a guy who didn't do squat during the heist,"** Kiba said to Neji.

Everyone was on the verge of breaking into a huge argument with one another, when their boss Sasuke entered the room. Everyone immediately fell silent when he approached them.

"**Meet me in my office…I have another job for all of you,"** Sasuke said, before leaving.

Everyone looked at each other before getting up and following their leader as instructed.

What will be the gang's next heist? Will they succeed unlike last week's disastrous bank robbery? Stay tuned.

**Please review!**


	9. Sasuke's Gang: The Greatest Heist Part 2

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**Sasuke's Gang: The Greatest Heist Part 2**

**The Blame Game!**

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Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba, and Akamaru piled into Sasuke's office and sat down in front of their leader's desk. Sasuke looked at everyone before speaking.

"**Where is Choji? He's late,"** Sasuke said in a not-so amused tone.

"**I don't know…I think he's in the fridge again looking for a snack,"** Neji said.

Sasuke sighed.

"**Doesn't that walking garbage disposal ever get full?"** Sasuke said, rolling his eyes. **"No matter, we'll start this little meeting without him. I called this meeting to discuss our future of being gang members. As you know, our last bank heist was a complete disaster. Someone tell me right now who notified the police of our plot,"** Sasuke demanded.

"**Choji!!!"** everyone said in unison, even Akamaru barking out his name.

"**I see…that little son of a bitch has been constantly ruining our schemes, tarnishing our names as The Hidden Leaf Village's best gangsters around. At this rate, we'll never succeed in a robbery that'll make us filthy rich,"** Sasuke said to them**. "So, how do you propose we fix our…little discrepancies?"**

"**I know just the thing we could do to eliminate any more failed heists: Give someone from our gang the boot!"** Kiba suggested.

"**Okay…like who?"** Sasuke inquired.

"**I vote Shikamaru! He didn't bring with him the proper tools we needed while inside the bank, like a flashlight for instance!"** Kiba responded.

"**What?! You're putting my disposition over Choji's?! You're a drag, Kiba,"** Shikamaru said with a huff, shaking his fist at him.

"**Is that so? Any other accusations?"** Sasuke asked.

At that moment, Akamaru began barking at Neji. Everyone else also turned toward Neji as well.

"**Why is everyone looking at me for? Just like Shikamaru said, it should be Choji that should get the boot!"** Neji said to everyone, defending himself.

"**True…but it's a drag that you didn't pull your weight at the last heist…"** Shikamaru responded.

"**He's right…all you did was complain all the time we were there…"** Kiba added.

"**Bull-shit! Even so, I wasn't the one who haphazardly told a freakin' cop of our boss's master plan!"** Neji shot back.

"**So…it all comes back to Choji I see…"** Sasuke said.

"**Yes…but also you should consider Kiba and Akamaru as well for their flaws in that bank heist!"** Neji added.

"**Oh?"** Sasuke said, raising an eyebrow.

"**Hey, Neji's right…Akamaru failed to open the bank's main doors even after Kiba told him to do so. I sense a lack of trust between human and dog…not that there's a difference between them anyways…"** Shikamaru explained.

"**I think you're mistaking my dog for your mother!!!"** Kiba shot back angrily at Shikamaru.

At that moment, Choji walks into Sasuke's office eating a bag of chips.

"**Hmm? What's everyone talking about? Shikamaru's mother is a dog or something?"** Choji asked upon entry.

"**YOU!!!"** Kiba, Akamaru, Neji, and Shikamaru said simultaneously as they all pulled out their Tommy-guns and pointed them straight at Choji. Sasuke got up out of his seat and slammed his fist onto his desk.

"**THAT'S ENOUGH! ALL OF YOU, SIT DOWN, NOW!!!"** Sasuke yelled angrily at them.

Sasuke's entire gang immediately sat down quietly upon command from their boss.

"**It's obvious that each one of you had some part in the failed heist whether it was significant or not! This is why you guys keep screwing up all the time!!! If any of you had some common sense, none of you would be blaming the other!!!"** Sasuke said angrily to them, before letting out a big sigh. **"Look, I have been planning for some time now a more difficult heist we could possibly pull off,"** Sasuke continued, his voice back to normal level.

"**Like what?"** Choji asked.

"**The Tanzaku Town Grand Casino. I've been secretly mapping out the entire facility while you guys slept, and I've concluded that we all can break into the casino's vaults and get away with at least 5,000,000 big ones…if we're careful, that is…"** Sasuke explained.

"**Wow!!! With that much cash, I'll never run out of food to eat!"** Choji said happily.

"**I'm surprised you're planning on letting us do something like this after that bank incident,"** Shikamaru said, eyebrow raised.

Sasuke let out a dry chuckle.

"**Oh…I'm not letting you guys go alone, for I am going with you to make sure you five don't screw up,"** Sasuke said to them with a piercing glare. **"Now get some sleep, we hit the casino tomorrow night."**

"**Right,"** everyone said in unison, before leaving Sasuke's office and heading to bed.

"_This better work out, or I'm firing their useless assess…"_ Sasuke said to himself before leaving for bed himself.

The gang has a new job come tomorrow night! How will the robbery of a lavish casino turn out? Stay tuned, fellow reader!

**Please review!**


	10. Sasuke's Gang: The Greatest Heist Part 3

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**Sasuke's Gang: The Greatest Heist Part 3**

**An Ocean's Eleven Rip-off…Sorta!**

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It was the next night.

Kiba's dog Akamaru once again drove the entire gang toward the place of their most anticipated heist: The Tanzaku Town Grand Casino. Sasuke sat in the front seat of their beat-up Model T vehicle, while everyone else sat in the back.

"**Okay, listen up everyone. We're almost at the casino. Does everyone remember the plan I had laid out back at the hideout?"** Sasuke questioned his men.

Everyone nodded in unison, as they knew what their tasks were to pull off this heist successfully.

Once they arrived at the casino, Akamaru parked the car in a side alley near the main building. Everyone piled out of the vehicle and huddled for one final meeting.

"**Okay, it's now 10:00 pm. I've calculated that we should meet near the treasury vault in exactly five minutes. Use the gadgets and fake I.D.s I bought for everyone to avoid immediate suspicion and successfully complete your missions. Okay, move out!"** Sasuke instructed to his men.

The gang members dispersed, all of them getting in position to carry out their individual tasks.

**Phase 1: Infiltrate Casino From The Back**

**5:29 Remaining**

Shikamaru snuck around the back of the casino. He eventually wound up near the area where armored trucks bring cash into the loading docks. Several guard ninjas were dotted throughout the area.

"**I'll use my Shadow Possession Jutsu on one of the guards and make them attack one another,"** Shikamaru said as he readied his technique.

A long, black shadow crept along the ground until it neared on of the guards. Just as it was about to snag him, the guard suddenly steps to the side. The jutsu ultimately ends up possessing an armored truck instead.

"**Damn, I now have to manipulate a truck? What a drag…"** Shikamaru mumbled as he began moving his arms and legs.

"**Hey…what the hell?!?!?"** yelled one of the guards as the possessed truck began to move on its own, honking and revving up as if it were alive.

Shikamaru took this opportunity to force the truck to drive around and run-over the guards around the area. Getting freaked by the scene, all of the guard ninjas eventually fled the area in panic.

"**Well…that was easier than expected…"** Shikamaru said as he cancels his technique and hurries inside through the back entrance. Inside he sees Kiba and Akamaru already inside, waiting for them.

"**What the?! How did you get inside before me?"** Shikamaru asked in shock.

"**The side door was unlocked. Sooo…"** Kiba explained, Akamaru barked at the same time.

"…**What a freakin' drag…"** Shikamaru said with a heavy sigh.

**Phase 2: Locate The Security Control Room**

**3:56 Remaining**

The next step was to locate the security control room within the casino. All three of them hid in a nearby closet so personnel would not spot them.

"**Okay, this is where you come in, Akamaru,"** Kiba said, strapping a tiny video camera around his dog's neck, which could pass as a collar. **"I want you to wander around the casino while your camera records the areas you cover,"** Kiba instructed Akamaru.

Akamaru barked an 'Okay' and was on his way.

Several minutes later, Akamaru returns to the closet where Kiba and Shikamaru were.

"**Alright, let's see if you found our next destination,"** Kiba said, removing the small device from around Akamaru's neck.

Kiba pressed a button on the device to replay what was recorded when Akamaru ran around the casino.

Both of them was wide-eyed as they watched the recording, seeing Akamaru almost getting caught by security, was cuddled by a rich, fat woman, Akamaru playing the slot machines and a few rounds of Blackjack, all before locating the specified room.

Shikamaru glared at Kiba.

"**I see your dog had a little bit of fun during his mission…"** Shikamaru said with his usual melancholy expression.

Kiba gave Shikamaru a cheesy smile.

"**Well, at least our part of our mission is done. C'mon, let's go back outside and re-enter through the front doors. Neji and Choji are waiting for us,"** Kiba said.

All three of them nodded and left their posts.

**Phase 3: Get Some Disguises**

**2:10 Remaining**

Neji and Choji were in the casino's bar waiting for Kiba, Shikamaru, and Akamaru to appear. Choji was pigging out on shrimp and fries, while Neji sat there, staring in disbelief at Choji shoveling in food like a trash compactor. After what seemed like forever, all three of them enters the bar and inconspicuously drops the small camera on the counter in front of them as they walked by without saying a word.

"**Now's the time,"** Neji said to Choji, getting up.

"**Aw, c'mon, just a few more bites?"** Choji protested.

"**No! We've got a mission to complete. Let's go!"** Neji responded, dragging Choji out of the bar.

Their job was to now get some disguises so they could pass as Casino personnel.

The two wandered the casino until they noticed a couple of card table dealers enter the bathroom.

Neji and Choji nodded as they rushed into the bathroom and started beating the crap out of the dealers. Once they came out, they were now wearing their uniforms.

"**Nice one dunking that guy's head into the toilet, Neji,"** Choji commented.

"**I must admit, it was amusing watching you slam the bathroom door into that other jerk's face 47 times to knock him out,"** Neji responded.

Both men, now in reasonable clothing, began heading toward the Security Control Room.

However, before they could get there, gamblers who waited for the dealers to return so they could play stopped them.

"**Hey! You two!!! We've got a game of Blackjack to finish,"** said one of the many people standing around a Blackjack table, looking a bit miffed.

"**Ah shit…what do we do now?"** Choji asked Neji.

"**You go take care of those gamblers, while I head toward the Security Control Room,"** Neji instructed.

"**Aw man…I don't know how to play Blackjack…let alone be a dealer!"** Choji protested, but Neji was already gone. **"Crap…"** Choji said as he went to the Blackjack table.

Choji grabbed the deck of cards and began dealing out cards to everyone. One fat lady, who was playing, looked up at Choji.

"**Hit me!"** the fat lady said.

"**Uh…okay…"** Choji said.

**POW!!!**

Choji reached forward and knocked out the woman in one punch.

All of the gamblers glared at him with disbelief.

"**What!? She _said_ 'hit me', right?"** Choji said.

**Meanwhile…**

Neji, meanwhile, enters the Security Control Room, where several personnel watched the activity of the casino through their many video cameras.

"**Who are you?"** asked one of security ninja.

"**Your worst nightmare. Say hello to my little friend,"** Neji said, pulling out his Tommy gun and shooting at the guards.

**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!**

After running out of ammo, Neji's mouth hung open in disbelief as he realizes he missed every last security ninja during the shootout.

"**Get him!!!"** yelled one of the security ninja as he and everyone else jumped Neji.

After Choji found a chance to leave the Blackjack table, he met with a very beat-up Neji, who was somehow able to knock out all of the guards in the room.

"**Choji…shut down the security cameras throughout the casino, will you?"** said a very dazed Neji.

"**Oh, uh…sure!"** said Choji as he went and completely shutdown the entire security system.

Their job was now done. Now it was time for the final phase of the operation.

**Final Phase: Steal The Loot**

**:30 Remaining**

Eventually all of the gang members met up right outside of the vault that lead toward their prize.

Sasuke was already there, waiting for them.

"**Boss!!! You've been here the whole time?"** Kiba said in shock.

"**Yeah, what's the deal? How did you get here before us?"** Neji questioned.

"**I told you guys already, I've already been through the entire casino and found the location of the vault. I had all of you to find your own way in as a test to see if you are worth sharing the cash with. Also, it would've looked very suspicious if all of us tried to do everything simultaneously to get here. Understand?"** Sasuke said to them.

All of his gang members nodded.

"**Good. Now stand back," **Sasuke said, turning toward the vault. **"FIRE STYLE, PHOENIX FIRE JUTSU!!!"**

Sasuke's fire jutsu engulfed the entire vault, causing it to melt completely.

**"Okay men, let's grab as much cash as possible and get out of here. With the security system disabled, we'll be able to get away easily,"** Sasuke said to them as everyone began grabbing tons of moneybags.

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**Announcer**: And now for another news update from The Hidden Leaf Village News At Five!

**Kakashi**: Hello. Kakashi Hatake here.

**Might Guy**: And his Macho-Macho-Man co-anchor: Might Guy! (Flexes his muscles at the camera)

**Kakashi**: You're embarrassing to be around, you know that?

**Might Guy**: Oh come, Kakashi! What woman doesn't like seeing a sexy man flexing his muscles?

**Kakashi**: One: I wouldn't. Two: Because I'm not a woman. Three: This is a serious broadcast. Four: Get your act together before I shove this kunai up your ass.

(Might Guy stops immediately after hearing Kakashi's threat)

**Kakashi**: Good boy…on with the breaking news coverage of a robbery at The Tanzaku Town Grand Casino. Police surrounded the casino minutes after 10:00 pm after a bunch of 1930 style gang members were caught smuggling cash from the casino. Their arrest was possible due to one of the gang members was seen running into the casino's bar with a ton of stolen cash on him to retrieve a plate of food he apparently started eating, but never finished. (Shows a picture of Choji to the camera) All of the gang members are now booked in jail until a court hearing is set.

**Might Guy**: This exciting tale is complete. Say. Kakashi…I've been noticing…that every report we've done so far involves people going to jail. Interesting, isn't it? (Gives his trademark smile and thumbs up at the camera)

**Kakashi**: Quite so. And if you do that stupid smile and thumbs up at the camera one more time, I might end up in jail too because I would have killed you for acting like a complete moron on camera.

**Might Guy**: (Looking a bit nervous) Uh…that concludes this particular tale. **Gaara vs Indiana Jones** is coming up next. Stay tuned!

**Please review!**


	11. Gaara vs Indiana Jones Part 1

**Author's Note: **Thank you everyone for your continuous reviews on this series! This particular 3-part story you are about to read will be much shorter in length than the other stories, but the hilarity will never waver! Enjoy!

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**Gaara vs Indiana Jones Part 1**

**It Belongs In A Museum!**

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In the heart of the Sunagakure, Village Hidden in the Sand, lies a grand palace that looms over the entire nation from upon a large construct of sand.

It was Gaara, the Grand Pharaoh, ruler of all of the land.

While sitting on his throne within his palace, Gaara held a bright red gem he acquired from a neighboring nation.

**"With this Red Crystal in my possession, I will be considered the wealthiest leader in the world. Those fools from The Land of Waves thought this gem had no value, but after I had it appraised, its worth is now estimated in the billions!"** Gaara said as he caressed his precious stone.

After a satisfactory amount of time with his new stone, he snaps his fingers, summoning his two personal bodyguards: Shino and Kankuro. They enter into his throne room and kneel before him.

"**You called, Master?"** Shino said.

**"My loyal servants…take this gem and place it within my treasury vault,"** Gaara said to them.

"**Yes, Master,"** both men responded, taking the gem from Gaara and promptly leaving the area.

**Five Minutes Later**

A few minutes have passed since Gaara left his servants to store away his precious gem away in his treasury vault.

Suddenly, another nameless servant rushes into the throne room with a very nervous look on his face.

"**What is the matter? Speak up!"** Gaara commanded to the servant.

"**Master Gaara…an intruder…is attempting to steal your precious gem!"** the servant reported.

Gaara's eyes flew open in shock and awe.

"**WHAT?! WHO IS THIS THIEF?! WHERE IS HE NOW?!"** Gaara yelled at the servant.

"**His..his name is Indiana Jones, Master, a famous archeologist! I think he's nearing the treasury vault right now…"** the servant continued, gulping.

"**PREPOSTEROUS!!! ALL OF MY BEST SECURITY NINJA SHOULD HAVE TAKEN HIM OUT BY NOW!"** Gaara responded loudly.

"**Um…uh…unfortunately, all of our Security Ninja have been either whipped to death, punched out, or shot up by this man…" **the servant continued.

Gaara was furious. You could tell by the look on his face, like a blood vessel on his forehead was about to burst from frustration. Gaara took a deep breath and looked away from the servant.

"**Turn…on…the surveillance video…"** Gaara said, softly but sternly.

The servant nodded and ran toward a large control panel sitting behind Gaara's throne. After pressing a button on the control panel, a very large video monitor was lowered from the ceiling in front of Gaara. It then began playing the events following Indiana Jones's initial break-in.

**_Note_**_: the first part of this surveillance video has no audio)_

The video starts with footage of Shino and Kankuro enter the treasury vault, the gem in Kankuro's hands. Suddenly, a long leather bullwhip from off screen is cracked around Shino's neck as it began choking him. Kankuro stops to turn around and help his friend, who was now being dragged away from the camera. The camera began shaking, indicated that a fight was happening off camera. After a minute of brawling, Indiana Jones approaches Kankura back on camera and both began arguing with one another.

Gaara's eye twitched, now growing more agitated as he witnessed what's happening down at his vault.

"**Turn…on…the…audio…"** Gaara growls at his servant.

He continues to watch the video, now with full sound.

"**_H-hey! What's the big idea punching out my buddy?!"_** Kankuro said, slowly backing away from Indiana Jones.

"**_I'm here to retrieve that artifact you hold in your hand!"_** Indiana Jones responds.

"**_It's not yours! It belongs to Master Gaara!"_** Kankuro responds.

"**_It __belongs__ in a museum!!!"_** Indiana Jones responds, now pulling out his revolver.

_"**Oh no!!!"**_ Kankuro shrieks like a little school-girl as Indiana Jones suddenly turns towards the camera and shoots it several times, knocking out the rest of the footage as the screen is now blank.

Gaara sat there extremely pisses at what he had just saw.

Suddenly, both Shino and Kankuro slowly stumbling into Gaara's throne room, both looking really beat up and disheveled as they stop and bow to their leader.

"**You…FOOLS!!! Do you have ANY idea what you just did?!?!"** Gaara said angrily to them. **"Get your sorry carcasses out there and stop this Indiana Jones guy and retrieve my precious gem…or else I'll mummify you two and then crush you with my Sand Coffin Jutsu…UNDERSTAND!!!"**

"**Y-yes Master…!"** both men said, saluting before falling out like a sack of potatoes.

Gaara sighed heavily again, face-palming in disbelief at what's happening.

"**You won't get away with this, Indiana Jones…" **Gaara said, clenching his fist in vengeance.

Will Shino and Kankuro be able to retrieve Master Gaara's precious gem from the famous archeologist? Stay tuned and find out!

**Please review!**


	12. Gaara vs Indiana Jones Part 2

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**Gaara vs Indiana Jones Part 2**

**Shino and Kankuro Intervene!**

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Indiana Jones has snagged Gaara's precious gem, and the pharaoh wasn't too pleased with it either. So in retaliation, Gaara sends out his two loyal servants: Kankuro and Shino to dispose of the archeologist.

Indiana Jones snuck down the unusually quiet hallways of Gaara's Palace, trying to remember the path he used to get in so he could escape. As he advanced toward a particular area, Shino was preparing to ambush him.

"**I'll use my bugs to swarm this pesky intruder, then I'll retrieve the gem and have the other guards apprehend him,"** Shino said as he held his hand around a nearby corner. **"Go get em', boys,"** Shino commands, using his jutsu to release a huge swarm of insects down the hall.

Indiana Jones suddenly stops as he saw the mass of insects encroach upon him.

"**Uh oh…time to use the good ol' bug pray,"** Indiana Jones says, pulling out an aerosal can of 'Raid', spraying the toxic substance in front of him, killing all of Shino's insects in a heartbeat.

Shino had his jaw unhinged in disbelief at what he had just seen. He angrily darts around the corner and approaches the archeologist.

"**Hey! What's the big idea you jerk! Those were my precious insects you just killed!"** Shino said angrily, pointing an accusing finger at the archeologist.

Indiana Jones just stares at Shino, eyebrow raised, before pulling out his bullwhip.

"**Uh oh…not again…"** Shino says as he is snagged around the neck by Indiana Jones's whip, pulled in, and got the crap beaten out of him…again.

After finishing off Shino, Indiana Jones continues his way through Gaara's Palace, trying to find any familiar sights he could use to his advantage.

Unbeknownst to him, Kankuro was hiding up ahead, waiting to make his move.

"**Shino has failed! Now it's up to me snag back my Master's gem and redeem myself!"** Kankuro says, jumping down from a high ledge and landing in front of the archeologist.

"**You? You've come to take me out? I just defeated your little friend over there,"** Indiana Jones said to Kankuro.

"**Yes, but it is I who will be victorious! Prepare to meet my puppet: Crow!"** Kankuro says, whipping out his oversized puppet 'Crow', sending it out toward the archeologist while controlling it using some string.

Crow swipes at Indiana Jones, backing him into a corner.

"**Ha! I got you now!"** Kankuro says with a sly grin.

"**Oh really?"** Indiana Jones responds, pulling out his Revolver and shooting 'Crow' point blank, bowing it up into bits.

"**My…my puppet! You ruined my puppet!!!"** Kankuro says to him in shock.

"**And now I'm about to ruin your face!"** Indiana Jones says, as he proceeds to punch out Kankuro and continue on his way.

Gaara, meanwhile, watching the events on his security system, was red as a tomato, furious at his bumbling servant's failed attempt to subdue the gem-thief.

"**FOOLS!!! I'LL DESTROY HIM MYSELF!!!"** Gaara shouts in anger and frustration.

The pharaoh stands and rushes out of his throne room, ready to take on Indiana Jones personally.

Moments later, Gaara catches up to Indiana Jones just before he found the palace's exit.

"**And where do you think you're going?"** Gaara calls out to the archeologist.

**"I'm going to return this treasure to the museum where it belongs!"** Indiana Jones says.

"**Heheheh…that's what you think!"** Gaara says with an evil smile, pulling a nearby secret lever, causing a trap door below Indiana Jones to open, causing him to drop off into a pit below.

"**Now, thief, try to get out of my 'Catacombs of Doom' alive!"** Gaara says with an evil laugh.

What will happen to Indiana Jones? Will he make it out alive, or has Gaara succeeded in stopping him for good? Stay tuned for the conclusion of this particular tale!

**Please review!**


	13. Gaara vs Indiana Jones Part 3

**

* * *

**

**Gaara vs Indiana Jones Part 3**

**The Catacombs of Doom!**

* * *

In the previous chapter, Gaara dropped Indiana Jones through a trap door that lead to a place called the 'Catacombs of Doom'.

"**Oomph!"**

Indy landed on a large pile of sand within the center of the pitch-black caverns beneath Gaara's palace. He got up and brushed himself off, looking around.

"**It's so dark…I'll have to feel my way through…"** Indy said as he began wandering through the darkness.

**Meanwhile Within The Throne Room……**

Gaara, Kankuro, and Shino were back in Gaara's throne room, watching the archeologist wander through Gaara's brilliantly structured underground maze of caverns on Gaara's surveillance system.

"**This is brilliant…that fool just doesn't know what kind of trouble he's going to be in,"** Gaara said to his servants as he monitor's Indy's movements.

"**No one has gotten out of your Catacombs alive,"** Shino commented.

"**Yeah, it sure looks like you've got him this time,"** Kankuro added.

"**Yes…and to make sure he doesn't try anything clever, I'm gong to give him a few obstacles to try to overcome,"** Gaara said with a devious smile as he pressed a button on his control panel.

**Back Within The Catacombs…**

Meanwhile, Indy continued to wander aimlessly through the underground catacombs with no real sense of direction.

Suddenly, Indy began to notice that the further he trudged through the darkness, the more sand he had to walk through.

Then it hit him.

"**Oh crap, the sand within this place is starting to rise!"** Indy said, realizing that sand was rapidly accumulating around him by the second.

"**Time to put my trusty bullwhip into action,"** Indy said, pulling out his whip and cracking it above him until he caught an overhanging ledge above him and pulling himself to safety.

**Back Within The Throne Room…**

The three continue to watch as Indy makes it out of Gaara's first trap with ease.

"**This guy is very smart, Master,"** Shino comments.

"**Yes, I mean after all, he was able to defeat us of all people,"** Kankuro added.

"**You fools…a four-year-old could beat your worthless hides with ease,"** Gaara said to them, rolling his eyes. **"Anyways, let's introduce our guest to Mr. Giant Sand Boulder,"** Gaara said, pressing another button from his control panel.

**Back Within The Catacombs…**

Indiana Jones finally made it to a lit area of the catacombs. As he began crossing a narrow corridor, the ground began to shake.

"**What now?"** Indy said, spinning around as soon as he heard the sound of a large object rolling toward him from behind.

It was a giant boulder of sand, nearly the height and width of the corridor, and it was coming toward Indy fast.

"**Why me…"** Indy says as he turns to try to flee from the sand ball of doom.

As he continued to run through the seemingly endless corridor, Indy spots a large door at the end. Picking up the pace, Indy makes a mad dash for the door, and dives through just in the knick of time.

**Back Within The Throne Room…**

"**It seems as though this Indiana Jones guy is too smart even for your brilliant trap, Master,"** Kankuro comments.

"**Indeed. If he keeps this us, he'll escape with no problems,"** Shino adds.

"**Silence!"** Gaara says, using his sand jutsu to create a large hand to smack both of his servants for doubting him.

"**This isn't over yet. Time to use a scare tactic,"** Gaara said, pulling on a lever from his control panel. **"Kankuro, Shino, assist me with this next attack."**

**Back Within The Catacombs…**

Just as soon as Indiana Jones cleared the door from being chased by the sand boulder, the door slams shut behind him.

**"Wonderful…what now?"** Indy says as he is now in another pitch-lack room.

Suddenly, a torch is lit in the room's center. Then, out of nowhere, one of Kankuro's puppets dropped in front of Indy, which was modeled to look like Orochimaru.

"**SNAKES, I HATE SNAKES!!!"** Indy yells, backing away from the Orochimaru puppet.

Then, to add insult to injury, a ton of Shino's bugs began swarming out of the puppet's mouth and attacking Indy.

**Back Within The Throne Room…**

Shino and Kankuro give each other a high five at the fact that they might have finally defeated Indiana Jones. Gaara turns toward them and grins.

"**That should take care of him. Now, one of you go down there and retrieve my gem,"** Gaara said to them.

All three guys turn back toward the screen…

"**What the hell?!"** Gaara says is disbelief.

…as Indy someone managed to escape the room the few seconds their backs were turned.

"**What the…he got away? Where did he escape to?"** Shino asks, dumbfounded.

All three guys then turn around toward the wall…

"**Miss me, guys?" **Indy said, a bit pissed off.

…to witness Indy emerge from a large air vent.

"**Damn! You're pretty good, you know? No wonder you're so famous,"** Gaara said, in an unusual cool tone despite the situation.

"**Indeed. Now to finish you three off and get out of this wretched place,"** Indy said, pulling out his revolver and bullwhip. Kankuro and Shino got ready to battle as well.

An epic showdown was about to begin.

* * *

**Announcer**: And now for another news update from The Hidden Leaf Village News At Five!

**Kakashi**: Hello. Kakashi Hatake here.

**Might Guy**: And the co-anchor who's bringing sexy back: Might Guy! (Waggles his bushy eyebrows at the camera)

**Kakashi**: Funny, I do not recall sexy ever leaving, Guy.

**Might Guy**: That's because the old sexy is no match for Guy sexy.

**Kakashi**: …Okay, that was really lame.

(A sweat drop appears on Might Guy's head)

**Kakashi**: Right…now to our report. Officials from Sunagakure are I disarray after the land's leader, Gaara, called on a frantic search after a thief successfully broke into his palace and escaped with an extremely valuable jewel. When reporters arrived at the scene of the break in, they found Gaara lying on the floor with his sand gourd jammed over his head, while two of his servants were shot repeatedly and whipped into submission. Authorities note that their injuries will not be life threatening. Details on the whereabouts on this daring thief are unknown at this time.

**Might Guy**: That concludes this particular tale. Sakura and Ino's Supergirl Squad is coming up next. Stay tuned!

**Please review!**


	14. Sakura and Ino's Supergirl Squad Part 1

**Author's note: **After reading this, check out our other fic: **Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Potpourri **for more Naruto goodness, which we will now be running along side with this series whenever its updated!

* * *

**Sakura and Ino's Supergirl Squad Part 1**

**Meet The Zeroes…er…Heroes!**

* * *

"**Billboard-Brow!!" **yelled Ino.

"**Ino-Pig!!"** Sakura shouted back.

Sakura and Ino were walking down the streets of the Hidden Leaf Village. Temari and Tenten, who walked a few feet behind them, watched as both girls continued to throw insults at each other.

"**Sasuke-whore!"** Ino proclaimed to Sakura.

"**Ugly-Girl!"** Sakura countered.

Temari and Tenten both sighed.

"**I swear, those two are always fighting over the dumbest things…"** Temari said, lightly fanning herself as she walked.

"**Tell me about it…it gets annoying sometimes…but I suppose we have to bear it, we are part-time local Superheroes after all…"** Tenten responded, twirling a kunai with her finger.

"**That reminds me…haven't we gotten any missions as of late? We've been pretty inactive for quite some time now,"** Temari asks.

"**Beats me…Sakura and Ino would know, we're just their sidekicks after all,"** Tenten replies.

"**Hmph, I doubt we'll find work soon, especially since that mishap last week,"** Temari says.

"**Oh yeah, that mission where we had to rescue that stupid kitten…"** Tenten reminisces.

**Flashback To Last Week: Operation: Kitty**

Flashback to a week ago…

The four girls were inside a local Ramen Shop having lunch, gossiping about the most useless things, well, Sakura and Ino were, anyways…

Everything was going dandy, until all four girls heard a cry of help from outside.

"_**HELP! SOMEONE SAVE MY KITTY!"**_

Both Ino and Sakura spat out their noodles when they heard the distress call.

"**Did you hear that? Someone requires our assistance!"** Sakura says excitedly.

"**Yes! Let us go and save the day once more! Come sidekicks!"** Ino responded merrily.

Both girls shot out of the Ramen Shop at the speed of light. Temari and Tenten meanwhile look at each other and shook their heads.

"**How did we ever get ourselves into this?"** Tenten mumbled.

Both eventually left the Ramen Shop as well to join the others outside.

All four girls were now standing in front of a large tree. An old lady, presumably the one who called for help, points up toward the top of the tree.

"**Help me! My poor little kitten is stuck up in that tree!"** said the worried old lady.

"**Your kitten is in peril? Never fear, ma'am! We'll get your kitten down in a snap!"** Sakura said boastfully.

Both Sakura and Ino turned to Tenten and Temari.

"**Ladies! Let's transform!"** Ino said proudly.

Ino pulls out a smoke bomb and throws it onto the ground, making it explode on contact. The smoke engulfs the girls for a brief moment. When it cleared, however, all of the girls were suddenly dressed in their undergarments.

"**What the hell?! What did you do that for?! We aren't wearing any costumes under our normal clothes you morons!!"** Temari yelled at Sakura and Ino.

"**Yeah, what's the big idea embarrassing us like this?"** Tenten added, her face beet-red with anger and embarrassment.

"**Oh crap! I forgot our costumes are still at the cleaners…eheheh…"** Sakura says, laughing nervously.

At this point, Temari unfolds her giant fan and uses it to cover up all four girls.

"**Uh, one moment, ma'am,"** Ino says to the old lady as all four girls quickly retreat from the area to get themselves dressed.

**Ten Minutes Later…**

All four girls re-appear wearing their normal clothing once more as they return to the scene.

"**Okay! Now let's save that kitten now!"** Sakura said.

Sakura was the first to take action. She ran toward the tree and jumps onto the lower branches, slowly making her way toward the top where the kitten sat.

"**Here kitty kitty…I won't hurt you…"** Sakura said as she began closing in on the kitten.

The kitten hisses at Sakura, then jumped at her face, scratching her across the nose before retreating to another branch.

"**Yeowch!!"** Sakura shrieked as she quickly retreated to the ground. **"Owie…well that didn't work…"** Sakura said, rubbing her now bruised nose.

"**Let me handle this,"** Tenten said as she pulled out one of her Ninja tools, the Demon Wind Shuriken.

She aimed toward the branch the kitten sat on, and then hurled the oversized triple-bladed shuriken up at the tree in hopes to cut down the branch and catch the kitten once it fell.

The kitten however, quickly leaps onto another branch just as Tenten's shuriken rips though the other branch.

"**Dang it!! That kitten is pretty persistent!"** Tenten said in a frustrated tone.

"**Oh that does it! I'll get that kitten down!"** Temari says, whipping out her giant folding fan.

Temari twirls around, and then swings her fan, sending a gargantuan gust of wind toward the tree.

"**REEEOOOOWWWWWW!!"** screeched the kitten as it is jettisoned out of the tree, flying over the village toward the horizon.

"**Oops…guess I overdid it…"** Temari gulped.

The old lady looked at the girls in disbelief.

"**Wait! We'll get your kitten back, we promise!"** Sakura says to the old lady. **"C'mon girls, let's retrieve that poor animal!"**

All four girls nod and take off toward the direction where the kitten flew.

**Thirty Minutes Later…**

After a half-hour of searching the village, the four girls eventually locate the kitten that was blown out of the tree earlier. The kitten looked very shaken up and disheveled.

"**Aha! There you are! Now be a nice kitty and come with us!"** Ino said as she approached the kitten.

The kitten however, screeched angrily at Ino, and proceeds to lunge at her and start mauling her.

"**AAAH!! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!"** Ino shrieked as she tried to swat away the angry kitten.

After several seconds of trying to remove the raging kitten, Ino finally grabs a hold of it, then kicks it away like a football in frustration. She turns back toward the other girls, heaving from the scuffle.

"**Uh…mission complete?"** Sakura said to Ino, giving a thumbs up in attempts to cheer her current sour mood.

"**Well…that certainly went well…"** Temari said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"**So what now?"** Tenten asks.

Before any of the other girls could answer, they were suddenly approached by a couple of security Ninja who witnessed the whole event.

"**You girls are under arrest for animal abuse,"** one of the security Ninja said, as he and his partner proceeded to cuff all four girls and escort them to the Third Hokage's Courtroom.

**End of Flashback**

"**I can't believe we spent a week in jail for that whole incident,"** Temari said to Tenten. **"I've never been so humiliated in my whole life!"**

"**Kinda makes you wonder why we're still a part of this group…"** Tenten adds.

"**Heh, I'm only sticking around to redeem my image, that's all,"** Temari responded.

"**If that ever happens…"** Tenten adds with a sigh.

Will the girls find work around the Hidden Leaf Village after their disastrous mission? Stay tuned and find out!

**Please review!**


	15. Sakura and Ino’s Supergirl Squad Part 2

**Sakura and Ino's Supergirl Squad Part 2**

**A Job That They Can't Refuse!**

* * *

The Supergirl Squad wandered the streets of the Hidden Leaf Village, aimlessly looking for a task they could take up after their disastrous kitten rescue and arrest last week. After an hour of no findings, the four girls stop and take a break.

"**Jeez! Isn't there anyone or anything that needs saving around here today?"** Ino growls with frustration.

"**They're probably too afraid to go near you after your blunder last week!"** Sakura said with a cheeky grin.

"**Hey! What are you trying to say, Billboard Brow?"** Ino snapped back.

**"GIRLS! ENOUGH ALREADY!"** Temari said, fed up with Sakura and Ino's arguing. **"We wouldn't have such a hard time finding work if you two would stop fighting each other!"**

"**Temari's right, how about we show a little teamwork for once. We've got an image to rebuild, you know?"** Tenten adds, her arms crossed.

Both Ino and Sakura look at each briefly.

"**You're right…we won't get anywhere if this bickering continues. I suppose we can set aside our bickering just for a little bit,"** Sakura said, darting a look at Ino.

"**Yeah…so, who should we look for, you know, for a job?"** Ino asks.

Suddenly, a man from a nearby alley appeared in front of the girls.

It was Kabuto.

"**Kabuto? What are you doing here, slime ball?"** Temari asks, giving him a glare.

"**I heard you girls were looking for work. Well, I have just the job you four just can't refuse,"** Kabuto stated, adjusting his glasses.

"**What, work for that creepy Orochimaru?"** Tenten accused.

"**Hmph, hardly. I have something better then that. A job that requires the need for…heroes. You four could be famous if you succeed in my offer,"** Kabuto explains.

All four girls look at one another.

"**Um...give us a moment,"** Ino says to Kabuto.

The girls then quickly huddle a few feet away from Kabuto.

"**What do you think girls? Should we trust this loser?"** Temari asks.

"**Well…we do need more exposure around the village,"** Sakura says.

"**I guess we could take the job,"** Ino ponders.

"**If anything doesn't seem right during the job, we're going to quit immediately, right girls?"** Tenten says.

"**Right!"** the other three said, nodding in agreement.

The girls break thier huddle and re-approached Kabuto.

"**Okay, we'll take your job. Just no funny business, alright?"** Ino says to him.

"**You have my word, ladies,"** Kabuto says with a smile, while he crossed his fingers behind his back.

**Meanwhile…**

While the girls prepared to take on Kabuto's mission, a well-known resident of the Hidden Leaf Village was visiting Kakashi Hatake and Might Guy in the news studio. Kakashi was going over some news headlines, and Might guy was admiring himself with a handheld mirror.

"**KAKASHI SENSEI! WHAT GIVES?!"** yells Naruto, as he stands in front of the two news anchors inside the studio.

"**Keep it down, will you? What is it now, Naruto?"** Kakashi asks, not looking up from his papers.

"**I wanna know why I'm not getting more exposure in this story! I mean, its called _Naruto_: Ultimate Ninja Stories! My name is in the title, isn't it! When am I gonna get more screen time?!"** Naruto demands to his sensei.

Kakashi sighs and looks at Naruto.

"**Calm down, Naruto. You'll get another appearance in this series later on. Until then, why not keep yourself occupied with something, hmm?"** Kakashi states.

"**But I'm so bored! The other ninjas have been busy all week!"** Naruto complains.

"**Say, kiddo. Why don't you buy yourself some ramen or something, my treat?"** Might Guy says, handing Naruto some money and giving him his trademark cheesy smile.

"**Wow you mean it?! Thanks Super Bushy-Brow Sensei!"** Naruto cheers excitedly. **"See you two later!" **he says as he runs out of the studios.

Kakashi turns to Might Guy.

"**I'm impressed, Guy, you managed to do something right today by getting rid of Naruto,"** Kakashi said.

**"Well, it's my duty to be of help to my adoring fans,"** Might Guy said with a smile.

"**Guy…you didn't have any fans…"** Kakashi says, rolling his eyes.

Might Guy's smile faded into a look of disbelief.

"**YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I'M SEXIER THAN YOU, THAT'S ALL!"** Might Guy yells to Kikashi before running out of he studios wailing like a baby.

Kakashi sighs.

"**He'll be back. In the meantime, why not stick around and wait for the conclusion of the Supergirl Squad stories, hmm?"** Kakashi says to you, the reader. **"Trust me, it'll come a lot sooner than you'll expect."**

Stay tuned for the conclusion of this particular tale!

**Please review!**


	16. Sakura and Ino’s Supergirl Squad Part 3

**Sakura and Ino's Supergirl Squad Part 3**

**Mission: Implausible**

* * *

The Supergirl Squad had earlier accepted Kabuto's request to take on a special job for him. All four girls were told to meet at the Hokage's Mansion around midnight.

**"…The Hokage's Mansion? What does Kabuto want us to do here?"** Sakura asks, a bit dumbfounded at the choice location instructed by their client.

**"It does sound a bit suspicious…"** Ino responds.

**"Kabuto better not have hired us to steal something for him from Lady Tsunade's office…"** Tenten says.

**"Knowing that creep, I wouldn't be surprised…"** Temari added.

Suddenly, Kabuto slinks out of the shadows and approached the girls from behind.

**"So, girls, are you ready for your task?"** Kabuto asks.

**"Um, I guess so…but we want to know, this won't hurt our reputation, will it?"** Ino inquires.

**"Your reputation?" Kabuto says with an amused smile. "Not at all…not at all…"**

All of the girls look at each other. None of them really liked this idea in the first place, but they desperately needed some spotlight for once.

**"Very well…"** Sakura said with a sigh. **"What do you want us to do?"**

**A Bit Later… **

_(Kabuto will be narrating the girl's tasks step-by-step in the following section)_

**("Mission Impossible Music Starts Playing")**

"_**First, I want all four of you girls to infiltrate the Hokage's Office from the roof."**_

All four girls were on top of the roof of the Hokage's Mansion as instructed.

**"So how do we get in? Do we bust a whole through the roof or something?"** Temari asks.

**"Exactly! I'll use my exploding ninja tools to take care of that!"** Tenten stated, pulling out a few exploding kunais and sticking them in a small circle around the roof. **"Take cover everyone!"**

All of the girls ran to take cover as the kunais explode, surprisingly not making much noise as the other girls thought. They return to the area and see the newly made hole in the roof.

"_**Next, you will carefully enter the office and retrieve something valuable of mine on the Hokage's desk."**_

Sakura is now in a black jumpsuit, complete with mask and all, and was now being carefully lowered into the pitch-black office suspended by a rope, which the other three girls were holding from above.

**_"The desk huh? I wonder what I'm suppose to be getting for Kabuto…?"_** Sakura thought.

"…_**It's black piggybank…"**_

**"Oh…that's right…heheh…"** Sakura says with a slight laugh.

Now hanging a few feet off of the floor, Sakura pulls out a flashlight and turns it on, shining it at the desk.

To her horror, though, Lady Tsunade was sitting at the desk, her head face-down, snoring away…

…with the black piggybank wrapped around her arms.

**_"Oh crap! What's Lady Tsunade doing sleeping in her office in the middle of the night?!"_** Sakura thought to her self in a panicky manner.

Back on the roof, the girls were wondering what was taking Sakura so long below.

**"What is she doing? She should have retrieved what Kabuto wants by now!"** Temari asks.

Before either of the other two girls could respond…

**"Tenten! I have finally found you!"**

…Rock Lee appears before them from nowhere.

**"WAH!!"** all three girls shriek.

**"LEE?! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DNG HERE?!"** Ino said angrily. **"WE'RE ON A MISSION!!"**

**"A mission? Oh, I am very sorry, please forgive me. I was looking for Tenten to relay her a message from Guy Sensei. There have been reports of a ninja from another village plotting to steal Lady Tsunade's black piggybank. No telling if that ninja would have others to do his dirty work for him,"** Lee explains.

The three girls give Lee a 'You've got to be F-ing kidding me' look after his explanation.

**"I knew Kabuto couldn't be trusted! We've got to get out of here then!"** Ino says to the other girls.

The girls then realize something…

…They had let-go of the rope that was holding Sakura.

**"Uh oh…"** the girls say simultaneously.

**CRASH!!**

Back down inside, Sakura crashes onto Lady Tsunade's desk, immediately waking her from her slumber.

**"Huh…what the…!? Who's here…Sakura!?"** Lady Tsunade shouts as she's now completely awake and alert.

Back above, the roof below the girls and Rock Lee began to crumble from the aftershock of Tenten's exploding kunais…

**CRASH!!**

…causing them to fall into the office as well, right on top of Lady Tsunade and Sakura.

Before all of the smoke and debris cleared, Kabuto stealthy dashes into the remains of the office and nabs the black piggybank before making a hasty retreat.

It was going to be a long night when everyone regains consciousness.

* * *

**Announcer**: And now for another news update from The Hidden Leaf Village News At Five!

**Kakashi**: Hello. Kakashi Hatake here.

**Might Guy**: And the eternal fountain of youth in the flesh: Might Guy!

**Kakashi**: Fountain indeed…you're just overflowing with energy and pride aren't you?

**Might Guy**: That's right Kakashi!

**Kakashi**: Well stop that. The last thing I want is anything from you overflowing onto me.

(Another sweat drop appears on Might Guy's head)

**Kakashi**: Right…now to our latest report. Last night there was a breaking at the Hokage's Mansion, where four girls known as the Supergirl Squad were taken into police custody by order of Lady Tsunade, under the charges of the girls stealing her black piggybank, which held the whole village's assets, the deed to the land, and emergency repair funding. The four girls were later booked into jail for a minimum of a month.

**Might Guy**: That concludes this particular tale. The next tale: Tsunade's Gambling Problem is coming up next. Stay tuned!

**Please review!**


	17. Tsunade's Gambling Problem Part 1

**Tsunade's Gambling Problem Part 1**

**Lady's Delight**

* * *

It was the next day.

After Sakura, Ino, and their Supergirl Squad had destroyed most of the Hokage's mansion, Lady Tsunade and Shizune were forced to find alternate means for paying for the damages.

Both ladies were outside the village on their way towards Tanzaku town.

"**So, Shizune, what do you think of my proposition for raising funds for a new mansion?"** Lady Tsunade asks.

"**Are you crazy?!"** Shizune yells at Lady Tsunade. **"You want to try and win money by gambling…AGAIN??"**

"**Relax Shizune, I have a good feeling that lady luck is on my side this time around,"** Lady Tsunade assures her, looking at her meekly.

"**Oh yeah right! Remember the last time you tried to make money for the Hidden Leaf Village?"** Shizune reminds Lady Tsunade.

**Flashback: Last Month**

Lady Tsunade is in Tanzaku Town's Grand Casino, playing Roulette trying to win it big. She watched as the little ball rolled around the wheel.

"**C'mon 27… land on 27!!"** Lady Tsunade said, eagerly waiting for their ball to land on her number.

To her dismay…

"**00"** said the dealer.

…it lands on double zero (00) instead, making Lady Tsunade lose all 10,000 dollars she betted on that single game.

"**Damn! This game is fixed! But I'll be back soon!"** Lady Tsunade says, getting up from the table and heading outside the casino.

Once outside, Lady Tsunade was immediately confronted by several of the adult leaders of the Hidden Leaf Village: Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai, Anko, Might Guy, Iruka, Ebisu, and The Third Hokage…

…all of them wearing large wooden barrels around their body as clothes.

"**Sooo, it seems I lost another chunk of our annual budget. Got anything else I can win it back with?"** she asks them.

"**You've already betted our clothes off our backs!! What else could you possible want woman?!"** Might Guy says in a whiney tone to her. **"I can't face Rock Lee wearing this!! It's a disgrace to my image!!"**

"**What image?"** Kakashi responds, rolling his eyes, for right now he could be reading his Make-Out Paradise book, but that was gambled upon and lost as well.

"**Hmm…something tells me we need to appoint someone else as head of our Treasury Department…"** The Third Hokage contemplates out loud.

"**Someone else? Don't be silly! I promise you, in one month I'll make back everything that I lost, you'll see!"** Lady Tsunade says with a confident smile.

"**Then why do I have a bad feeling about this?"** Anko responds to the others.

**End of Flashback**

"**Psh, there's nothing to worry about Shizune, that's all in the past now,"** Lady Tsunade says to her.

"**Oh yeah? Then why are you insisting on continuing to gamble our funds dry?! Can't you think of something else you could do?"** Shizune suggests smugly.

"…**What? Are you talking about having me stand on some street corner and offer my services to other men? Is THAT what you are implying Shizune?"** Lady Tsunade asks her, a bit angry at what she thought she was implying.

"**What?! N-no! That's not what I was trying…"** Shizune replied frantically, trying to correct Lady Tsunade's wrongful accusation.

"**That's it! I'm tripling your workload this week!!"** Lady Tsunade said angrily, stomping away from her in a huff.

Shizune sighs.

"**Man, what am I going to do? I've got to find a way to make Lady Tsunade lose her confidence in gambling and make her quit for good before we go bankrupt…"** she thought.

Will Shizune find a way to curb Lady Tsunade's thirst for gambling? Stay tuned and find out!

**Please Review!**


	18. Tsunade's Gambling Problem Part 2

**Author's note**: Heheh, betcha thought I'd given up on this saga huh? Not hardly!

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**Tsunade's Gambling Problem Part 2**

**Lucky Stroke?**

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A while later, Lady Tsunade approaches The Tanzaku Town Grand Casino and enters through the front entrance. She smiles as she looks around the place.

"**Oh yeah! I'm definitely positive I will win big today!"** Lady Tsunade says as she strode over to the first game: Roulette.

Upon arriving, she saw no dealer in sight.

"**Hey dealer! I'm ready to play!"** Lady Tsunade impatiently calls out.

Out from behind the table rose her assistant Shizune, who wore a very tacky casino employee disguise with a fake mustache to boot.

"**Um, welcome to the game ma'am. How much you want to bet?"** Shizune asks in a manly voice, trying to disguise her own.

Lady Tsunade slaps down 100,000 coins onto the table and smiles at the dealer.

_"**My god!!! That's the village's secret reserve fund! How did she get a hold of it?!"**_ Shizune thought as Lady Tsunade places her chips across the board.

"**Okay then…here we go!"** Shizune says, spinning the big roulette wheel. **_"But little does Lady Tsunade know that I had the wheel modified to only give her back exactly what she bets so she'll never win or lose anything!"_** Shizune thinks to herself.

Shizune takes the little ball and flips it into the wheel as both of them watch it roll round and around, until it finally slows down and drops into the '00' slot.

"**Oh my, looks like you gain or lose anything this game, miss,"** Shizune says with a cheesy smile to Lady Tsunade.

"**What?! Dammit!!!"** Lady Tsunade says, slamming her fist onto the table.

To Lady Tsunade's luck, the little ball jumped from the '00' slot and into a winning number slot instead.

"**W-what?! You just won double your amount…"** Shizune says in shock at her first plan failing.

"**Whoo! Now that's what I'm talking about!"** Lady Tsunade says as she racks up her winnings and head towards the next area of the casino.

This time it was the Slot Machines.

Lady Tsunade took a seat in front of the most expensive machine around, which cost 10,000 coins a game. As if one cue, Shizune was already behind the machine sabotaging it.

"**I'll try it again! Anything she puts into this machine she'll receive the exact same amount back!"** Shizune says quietly, finishing her modifications.

After Shizune finished, Lady Tsunade puts in her chip worth 10,000 coins into the machine and pulled the lever.

The slots read: **(CHERRY) (CHERRY) (CHERRY)**

And, just as Shizune planned, it gave Lady Tsunade back exactly what she betted.

"**What?! Again?!" **Lady Tsunade yells, shoving the slot machine backwards in complete anger.

"**Waaah!!!!" **Shizune yells as the slot machine crashes right on top of her.

The fall of the machine suddenly caused it to explode, scattering thousands upon thousands of coins in front of Lady Tsunade.

"**Yeah!!! Finally my luck is changing for the better!!!"** Lady Tsunade cheers as she starts scooping all of the coins.

"**Yeah…easy for you to say…"** said the muffled voice of Shizune from underneath the now-broken machine.

These attempts to foil Lady Tsunade's plans would continue all day.

Stay tuned for the conclusion of this tale!

**Please Review!**


	19. Tsunade's Gambling Problem Part 3

**Author's note**: The final chapter of this series!

* * *

**Tsunade's Gambling Problem Part 3**

**In The End, Tsunade Wins?!?**

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Back in the Hidden Leaf Village, Tsunade has gathered the adult ninjas to her office for an important announcement.

As she sat behind her desk, she was surrounded by hundreds of bags of gold coins she had won from the casino earlier.

"**Well guys, look who has saved our village from total bankruptcy!" **Lady Tsunade said with a smug smile, sitting in her chair, feet propped up on her desk.

"**I don't believe it! You've always had the worst luck in the world, but you somehow won all of this cash?!"** Might Guy says to her in disbelief.

"**Yes…very interesting…"** Kakashi adds, not quite ready to grasp the fact that she achieved such an impossible streak.

"**Well, just goes to show you that Lady Luck was on my side earlier,"** Tsunade says to them with a wink.

"**Yeah…Lady Luck…right…"** Shizune mutters, standing by her desk bandaged up and in various casts from the accidents from the casino trying to stop her wins. _"Guess this shows what I know…"_ she thought with a sigh.

* * *

**Announcer**: And now for another news update from The Hidden Leaf Village News At Five!

_(As the newscast began, Kakashi and Might Guy were shown wearing decked-out uniforms and various expensive jewelry and necklaces.)_

**Kakashi**: Hello. Kakashi Hatake here.

**Might Guy**: And his curiously baffled by oh-so stylish co-anchor Might Guy!

**Kakashi**: We are pleased to announce that this will be our final taping, for all of us here at the studio have earned enough money from our generous Hokage leader to retire.

**Might Guy**: That's right! Now we can spend our time and money on training our young ninjas using the finest equipment in the land!

**Kakashi**: So with that said, that concludes this tale! We thank you with overflowing passion for reading this series!

**Kakashi: **We look forward to seeing you check out our other Naruto stories in the future.

**Kakashi and Might Guy: **Team Kanoha signing out!

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**The End!**

**That concludes this series! Please Review!**


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